One of the nice things about blogging is that you can look back and find out where you were at any point in your past. About a year ago, I wrote about feeling completely out of tune with myself, what I wanted, and what my goals were.
Over the past several days, new ambitions have emerged for me. While I am not yet ready to discuss the details, the foggy ideas and maybes I’ve been toying with concerning my professional life have not only become clear, but they are bright and shiny. Prospects are emerging. And I inadvertently discovered a new passion simply by working out with a friend.
I am also on a quest to achieve total wellness for myself. I’m working with a brilliant and wonderful “coach” who is going to help me learn new things about myself, my behaviors, and ways to achieve various goals I have set. Again, not ready to fully indulge you with details, but do stay tuned, because in time, I absolutely will share this with you.
When I think about how I’ve gotten to this point, I believe it’s because I simply let go a little bit. Being a control freak was something that I had to actively work to overcome. It was a shortcoming that I learned about several years ago during marital therapy (which didn’t do squat for the marital, but I learned tremendous lessons for myself). Over the past year, I’ve just let things unfold. I had to have faith and confidence that I would figure things out. There would be no more scrambling for ideas and answers. No more diving face-first into short-term solutions without thinking them through.
Last night I ran my ideas past Geekface and asked him to “devil’s advocate the shit out of them.” I want to make sure that my enthusiasm isn’t overshadowing a glaring hurdle or shortcoming in these ideas. We talked, and he asked good questions. Questions that I had solutions for. He’s on board, and he’s excited, also. Having his support and enthusiasm makes this ambition grow even more.
My goal within my goals has been to repair, fulfill, challenge, and grow all aspects of my life, to learn from the past and make the present and future better. To objectively evaluate what is going on in my world, and how to improve it, if it needs improving. How to accept it if it doesn’t. How to productively, not critically examine myself and my goals. I figured out what I don’t want. I figured out what isn’t good for me. Once I achieved that, I was able to clarify what I do want and need. I’ve learned how to identify cycles of complacency more quickly than before. I’ve learned that sometimes your ideas change. I’ve learned to be more objective and less punishing.
I’m excited about my new ventures. I can’t wait to embark on the steps that will get me there, to share my frustrations, challenges, and achievements here, too. I feel inspired by these prospects, and I wonder if may that is really the true nature of what DTU is supposed to be. Not that I won’t continue to ponder the “big” questions, but that is also a part of the totality of me. Part of my own wholeness, my wellness also depends on asking and engaging in the discussions we have here. Thank you for contributing to my wellness.
“Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind, withering my intuition, missing opportunities, and I must feed my will to feel my moment, drawing way outside the lines.” ~MJK (TOOL, “Lateralus” )